“I don't want to get to the end of my life
and find that I lived just the length of it.
I want to have lived the width of it as well.”
~ Diane Ackerman

“See your body as a trusted and treasured home for yourself to enjoy and use fully, rather than as an aesthetic object.” ~Susan Kano

What is Negative or Distorted Body Image?

Body image is the way you see and feel about your body—but that picture isn’t always accurate. It’s not about vanity or ego; it’s often shaped by painful comparisons, past experiences, and the culture around us. Many people, especially women but also men, live with a distorted or negative body image that quietly chips away at their well-being.

From a young age, we begin absorbing messages about what our bodies should look like—through TV, social media, family, peers, and even well-meaning mentors. If you’re someone who tends to be hard on yourself or strives for perfection, those messages can sink in even deeper, making it harder to feel at home in your own skin.

Signs You May Be Struggling with Body Image

Negative body image doesn’t always shout—it often shows up quietly, in the small, everyday ways we relate to ourselves. You might notice it in things like:

Constantly checking mirrors or reflections, scanning for flaws
Thinking harsh or critical thoughts about your body’s shape or size
Comparing your body to others—friends, strangers, or people online
Feeling a twinge of jealousy when you see someone else’s body
Forgetting that media images are often edited, filtered, or staged—and holding yourself to those impossible standards anyway

If any of this feels familiar, you’re not alone. These patterns are common, especially in a culture that teaches us to measure our worth by how we look. But awareness is the first step toward healing. A great place to start increasing awareness is noticing your body checking.

What Is Body Checking?

Have you ever found yourself pinching your stomach, checking the mirror from just the right angle, or stepping on the scale—again? That’s body checking. It’s a habit many of us develop when we’ve been taught to monitor, measure, or try to control our bodies. It’s especially common among people who diet, worry about their shape or size, or struggle with disordered eating.

Body checking can show up in subtle ways you might not even notice, like:

Pinching or rubbing parts of your body to feel for bones or softness
Wrapping your hand around your wrist or measuring your waist with your fingers
Weighing yourself every day—or multiple times a day
Fixating on certain parts of your body in the mirror
Asking others for reassurance about how you look
Comparing yourself to people in media, on social media, or even passing strangers

These actions may seem harmless, but they add up. Body checking can quietly reinforce dissatisfaction and anxiety about your appearance, often leaving you feeling worse instead of better. Becoming aware of it is a powerful first step toward breaking free from the loop.

Body Checking Can Become Compulsive

Sometimes body checking can start to feel less like a choice and more like something you have to do. You might find yourself checking to make sure you haven’t gained weight after eating, or measuring your arm or waist without even realizing it—maybe to distract from stress, or to soothe that uncomfortable “feeling fat” sensation that can come out of nowhere.

At its core, body checking is often a way to seek reassurance. And sometimes, it does bring a brief sense of relief. But it never lasts—and that’s the trap. You feel the urge to check again. And again. Especially when you don’t like what you see or sense, the checking can intensify, pulling you deeper into self-monitoring and self-doubt.

And what are you really looking for? The flaws. The problems. Even when you hope not to find them, your mind is trained to seek them out. That kind of hyper-focus can leave you feeling more anxious, more dissatisfied, and more out of control.

Over time, this cycle can worsen anxiety and body image distress—and even fuel or sustain disordered eating. For many people, compulsive checking becomes one of the invisible threads that ties them to struggles like anorexia, bulimia, or binge eating disorder. But becoming aware of these patterns is the first step toward loosening their grip.

Body Checking Fuels Negative Body Image

When you body check, you’re not just glancing—you’re searching. Often without realizing it, you’re scanning for flaws, trying to spot what’s “wrong.” And whether those flaws are real or imagined, the act of looking magnifies them.

Over time, this practice trains your brain to zero in on the negative. You become skilled—maybe even expert—at spotting so-called “problems” in your appearance. But here’s the thing: most of what you’re seeing isn’t a true issue at all. It’s a normal variation, something every body has. You just don’t see it that way anymore.

Eventually, the flaws you’ve trained yourself to find can start to dominate your self-image—until that’s all you see when you look in the mirror.

Body Checking Gets in the Way of Recovery

Letting go of body checking isn’t just about easing discomfort—it’s an important part of the healing process. Because struggles with body image are often at the heart of eating disorders like anorexia, bulimia, binge eating, and emotional eating, learning to quiet those critical habits can help create space for real recovery to take root.

On the flip side, when body checking is left unaddressed, it can quietly reinforce the very patterns you're working so hard to heal. That’s why this gentle, behind-the-scenes work can make such a powerful difference—it helps loosen the grip of shame and reconnect you to yourself with more trust and compassion.

Body Checking Can Keep You from Living Fully

One of the quieter harms of body checking is how it can steal joy from your life. Have you ever skipped something you wanted to do because your body didn’t “measure up”? Maybe you’ve sat out of photos, passed on invitations, or avoided the pool because of how you felt in a swimsuit. When we constantly monitor our appearance, we can start waiting—postponing life until our bodies feel “good enough.” But the truth is, you deserve to live fully now—not someday, not when, but today.

It’s never too late to reclaim the moments you’ve put on hold. You don’t need a different body to show up for your life—you just need permission to stop waiting. Wear the swimsuit. Get in the photo. Say yes to the things that bring you joy. Each time you choose connection, pleasure, or presence over self-surveillance, you loosen the grip of body checking and move one step closer to freedom.

Tips to Gently Reduce Body Checking and Support Body Image Healing

Shifting how you relate to your body takes time, but small, consistent steps can make a big difference. The following tips are here to help you build awareness, soften self-criticism, and begin reconnecting with your body in a kinder, more compassionate way. Start where you are, and move at your own pace.

Body Image Tip #1: Become Aware of Your Body Checking

The first step to changing any habit is awareness—and body checking is no different. For just one day, try to gently observe yourself. Each time you glance in the mirror, step on the scale, ask someone for feedback about your appearance, or compare yourself to others, simply notice. You might even jot down what you did, when it happened, and what you were thinking or feeling in that moment.

As you do this, try not to judge yourself. If self-criticism sneaks in (as it often does), pause and reframe with kindness. You might say to yourself, “Wow, I didn’t realize how often I do this. That’s really eye-opening. I want to use this information to take better care of myself. It took a long time for these habits to take root, and it’ll take time to unlearn them. I can be patient with the process.”

Awareness is not about perfection—it’s about opening a door to something new, something gentler.

Body Image Tip #2: Explore What May Be Driving Your Body Checking

As you become more aware of when and how often you body check, a natural next step is to gently explore why. Body checking often isn't really about your body—it's a coping tool, a distraction, a way to manage something deeper that’s harder to name. And because it tends to keep uncomfortable thoughts or feelings just out of reach, uncovering what’s beneath can take some courage and curiosity.

When you catch yourself body checking, try asking:
“If this were really about avoiding something deeper… what might I be trying not to feel right now?”

Then take a moment to reflect. Is anything stressful happening in your life right now? If nothing obvious comes up, think back: What happened in the past 10 minutes? The past hour? The past day?

“What would you be noticing or experiencing in life if you were not checking?”

With practice, patterns may start to reveal themselves. Body checking often steps in when something else feels shaky—conflict, uncertainty, shame, fear. The goal here isn’t to fix those things immediately, but to begin noticing them. And when you do, reach out for support. Whether it’s a therapist, a registered dietitian, or a trusted friend who’s done this kind of work, you don’t have to navigate it alone.

The good news? Once you begin to name what’s really going on, you can start to tend to it with care.

Body Image Tip #3: Reclaiming Your Time, One Check at a Time

This exercise invites you to take a compassionate but honest look at what body checking is really costing you. The goal isn’t judgment—it’s clarity. When you catch yourself checking, pause and ask yourself:

What exactly am I looking for right now?
Is this helping me feel better—or keeping me stuck?
How much of my time and energy is this taking? And what might I be doing instead?

Then, try one of the following reflections:

“This is exactly how I want to be spending my time.” Notice how that feels in your body.
“This isn’t how I want to be spending my time. I’d rather be ________, so I’m going to go do that now.”
“This isn’t how I want to be spending my time. I’d rather be ________, but since I can’t do that right now, I’ll choose to ________ instead.”

Check in with yourself: which one feels most aligned? Most freeing?

With regular practice, this kind of mindful inquiry can loosen the grip of body checking and gently guide you toward more life-affirming choices.

Eyes that see beauty, nose that smells the salt air and legs that got you up on that lifeguard station! — Grateful for my eyes that see this amazing sunset, my nose that smells the salt air and my legs that got me up on this lifeguard station!

Body Image Tip #4: Function Over Form: A Shift from Criticism to Appreciation

Each time you catch yourself body checking, gently redirect your focus by naming something your body has done for you in the last hour—no matter how small it may seem. Maybe you looked to see if your stomach was flat; now pause and say, “Thank you, body, for walking me from my front door to the car.” What seems ordinary becomes meaningful when you truly notice it.

This practice is about inviting a new relationship with your body—one rooted in gratitude and function, rather than form. For just a moment, allow yourself to see your body not as an object to critique, but as a living, breathing home that carries you through your life.

Here are a few simple ways to shift your focus:

I’m grateful for my eyes—they let me take in the trees, the sky, and the world around me.
I love that my hand can hold this water bottle with ease.
It’s a gift to walk to the store on my own two feet.
I can smell the salt in the air—what a joy that my nose works so well.
My arms helped me carry groceries today—and not long ago, they hauled a suitcase through Europe!

And one woman, through this very practice, realized something profound: "My grandson loves to curl up on my big lap. I’m so grateful to have a place where he feels safe and loved.” Realizing this brought tears to her eyes—and reminded her of just how much her body is capable of giving.

Download this free Body Appreciation Gratitude List to help you practice “function over form” and move from criticizing to appreciating.

Freedom From Body Checking Is Possible

Body checking doesn’t have to be your norm. These patterns—while deeply ingrained—can be unlearned. With time, support, and self-compassion, it’s absolutely possible to build a more peaceful relationship with your body. Not only can this help loosen the grip of food and weight struggles, it can also give you back something precious: your time, your energy, and the freedom to show up for your life more fully.

If you find yourself needing support along the way, please don’t hesitate to reach out to a professional who understands. We are body image experts and available for a free 20 minute consultation. Drop us a quick email to find out if we can help. Sometimes, just a little guidance can make all the difference.

And don’t forget your free Body Appreciation Gratitude List!