Why Hunger Can Feel Terrifying And What To Do About It
The signal you’ve ignored may be the solution
When you stop and think about it, true hunger is simply a message, a simple cue from your body that says: I’m low on fuel, I need something to eat.
But for so many people—especially those who’ve spent years caught in dieting or disordered eating—hunger can feel unsafe. Irritating. Shameful. Even terrifying.
And certainly not trustworthy. How can people possibly say that intuitive eating—eating when hungry—is a good idea?
To answer that, we need to look at why hunger feels not safe.
Why We Learn to Distrust Hunger
Let’s start with diet culture, which teaches us to be suspicious of hunger. It tells us that wanting food is a problem—and that being “good” means avoiding it for as long as possible.
We hear things like:
“Lose weight without feeling hungry.”
“If you’re hungry, just drink water.”
“Distract yourself until the next mealtime.”
“You shouldn't be hungry—you just ate.”
“Don’t eat it—just pour salt all over it.” That was the actual advice from Weight Watchers (WW) … the second time Karin signed up.
The message? Hunger is something to overcome. Something to beat. Something you can’t be trusted to respond to wisely.
So we look outside ourselves to eating guidelines on what we should eat and how much we should eat.
Ignoring Hunger Has An Equal and Opposite Reaction
Unfortunately, even the best eating programs teach us to ignore our natural physiological signals. We eat what they tell us to, when they tell us to, and in the process, learn to ignore hunger.
This may sound like a great idea. “Yay, I don’t feel hungry, so I won’t eat, and I’ll lose weight.”
But not feeling hunger has an equal and opposite reaction. When you numb out—when you don’t feel your hunger—you will also numb out and not feel your fullness.
That’s right, it becomes more and more difficult to notice those subtle signals that say quietly, “Hey, I’ve had enough, in fact, I’m bored with eating, let’s do something else.” It becomes harder and harder to walk away from food. Sure, when you’re stuffed you feel that, but even then, it can be hard to walk away.
So you end up overeating—all because you ignored hunger.
Or else you live in fear, constantly monitoring your food, micromanaging it, trying to make sure you get away from the table before you’ve started in on that “extra” bite. All because you no longer get those signals that make it easy to walk away from food.
Bottom line: you cannot numb out hunger without also numbing out fullness.
So, the end result of ignoring hunger is that, sooner or later, you will not be able to easily stop eating. In fact, you may not even know you’re full anymore! Your eating becomes confused. One day you might get full on half a sandwich, while the next you devour a bag of cookies and have room for more.
And that is terrifying.
The ease around food and eating you were born is no where to be found and now it’s a constant overbearing chore of monitoring, counting, avoiding. And fear.
So, yeah, the diet culture that surrounds us has turned hunger into a frightening sensation.
You fear losing control when you eat, or panic from fear of imagined (or real) pounds creeping on. You may even believe you don’t have the right to be hungry, especially if you think you’ve overeaten the day before, or recently gained even the smallest amount of weight.
And that is terrifying.
Returning to the Wisdom You Were Born With
To easily quit eating when satisfied, you don’t need more control. You need more connection. To your body. To your hunger. To your cues that easily end a meal. To your quiet, internal knowing.
These signals haven’t disappeared. They may have gone underground. But they are still there—and they’re waiting for you to listen and understand them again.
Is this easy. Nope. Especially in a world in which, everywhere you turn, you are being told to control your food. Control your hunger. Especially when your cues have become skewed and confused from years of following ‘expert’s’ advice.
But once you do, everything begins to change.
You’ll begin to:
Notice when hunger begins—before it turns desperate
Recognize when satisfaction shows up—before fullness becomes discomfort
Trust your ability to walk away from food with ease, not struggle
And most importantly, you’ll shift the way you manage eating and weight— from rules that betray your body, to cues that support it.
We are here to help you walk through every step of that journey. Whether you’re meeting with us one-on-one, reading our website, or using our tools, you’ll find supportive guidance to help you:
Understand how hunger and fullness signals actually work
Begin to trust that your body can accurately guide eating and weight
Use those signals to bring eating into balance—without rigid rules
Understand how all of this relates to weight—without needing to micromanage it.
This isn’t about following a new plan. It’s about returning to what you already know—
and learning to trust it again.
A Gentle Reframe
We understand being terrified of hunger. But hunger is not the enemy. It’s the invitation back to yourself.
You don’t have to be afraid of it. You don’t have to manage it perfectly. You just have to start paying attention—with kindness, not control.
Let hunger be what it is: a quiet tap on the shoulder, asking you to listen.
You don’t have to have it all figured out. You don’t even have to trust your hunger yet. Just noticing it without judgment is a powerful beginning.
And if trusting your body feels out of reach right now, you’re not alone. The next step is learning how to rebuild that trust—especially after years of being told your body was the problem.
How might your life be different if you could stop fighting hunger—and started using it to successfully guide your eating?
Want to Take It That One Step Further?
If you’ve felt disconnected from your body—or spent years tangled up in food, weight, and eating—this next blog offers a compassionate path back to trust.
Read: How to Rebuild Body Trust (After Diets Have Torn It Down)
About Eating Wisdom and Drs Karin and Hannah
We are two PhD level Registered and Licensed Nutritionists whose passion is to help others escape diet culture and to learn to use their natural, innate Eating Wisdom to, finally, find peace with food, eating and weight.
© 2021 Karin Kratina, PhD, RD, LDN