We began our careers putting people on diets, as we were taught to do. It did not take long to realize that there was no magic in food restriction. In fact, it became painfully obvious that dieting is fraught with failure, heartache, and deprivation. Simply put, we learned that diets cause problems. To find out how, simply read on.

Do you feel driven to be physically active? You may feel in total control of what you are doing and others probably envy your "dedication," but deep down you don't really have a choice, you must exercise. It is as if you are addicted to exercise. And you are probably fine with this, even if it interferes with your life.

Do you try to change your eating, and then feel like a failure when you don’t succeed beyond the initial enthusiasm? If you make plans about your food and eating that are actually out of reach, those plans will eventually become a source of frustration.

You've read that sugar is bad so you decide to avoid it. And, to avoid sugar, you have to be on the watch for it. You have to notice it, pay attention to it, so that you can avoid it. And then what happens?

It can difficult to quit eating when full at first; however, the accompanying negative self-talk only makes it much more difficult. 

Most people blame themselves when lost weight is regained, a practice weight loss programs encourage. When you realize it is not your fault, you may be better able to move on to more successful ways of managing food and weight.

Who doesn't want to feel better? Isn't that why we monitor our food and manipulate our weight? How many times have I heard a client say they they don't like themselves and will be happy when they reach that certain weight.

In January, I wrote about the importance of connection. But disconnection is also necessary for creating a healthy, happy life, and to be able to successfully manage food and weight. Check out these real life tips on how to disconnect.

Our culture encourages us to believe that if we get enough, we will be enough. So we keep trying to get more-- more love, more attention, more success, more weight loss. But it never seems to be enough to make us feel better.

Cross-culturally, conditions and situations that are outside the norm are often viewed as social problems, and social control is often seen as the solution. These days, our culture views fat individuals as not normal, not okay. Medicalization was the inevitable result.

We treat height/weight tables as if they are truth. We believe they are based on sound science. But, in fact, most height/weight tables are based on questionable research which began in the early 1900's.

You want to feel better, and every weight loss ad promises you will feel better, and be happy, when you lose weight. And you probably do feel happier when you start your new eating program. But when you’ve lost your resolve, the good feelings go away, so you figure if you just lost a bit more weight, you’d feel better. But then it goes away yet again! How can you sustain that “better” feeling?

The “change your body” approach to joy and happiness fosters the very disconnection that is causing the distress. The combination of connection and gratitude is the key to feeling happy and joyful. Here's why.